A Process for Wounded Healing

How in the world am I supposed NOT to feel overwhelmed about my adorable grandson’s fate with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy? How should other families and caregivers effectively deal with rare and fatal or severely debilitating diseases that are nothing less than a true monster in our lives?

Wounded healing: With what seems to be a dagger in the heart, one nonetheless perseveres and helps all involved within the family and pained community to look and act forwardly, in hope, prayer and action that promotes a good outcome.

Wounded healing is not easy in the face of rare and lethal or debilitating diseases that show no mercy for our loved ones. For me, wounded healing is a process. The more I follow a process of healing and helping, the less my emotions control me.

To begin, upon learning the bad news, vent for awhile and allow raw emotions to take over. Purge your body and soul of any sense of unfairness or guilt. Just be careful not to hurt yourself in the early stages of shock and anger.

Then, collect yourself and begin the process of collaborating with others inside and outside the pained community to collect useful information and learn as much as you can about the monster adversely affecting your pained community. Those collaborators will be the same people with whom you will celebrate later upon learning of hopeful developments.

Get involved. Attend meetings and seminars. Read. Learn. Have personal time with others who are a bit further down the road than you. Just be a good listener. Others more experienced in the pained community will be eager to share their inner most thoughts with you as to the successful and not so successful steps they took in the early stages before embarking on their wounded healing.

Pray. Meditate. Pray. Meditate. Whatever quiet time gives you Peace, protect it like your personal safe harbor. The well intended words of others, although appreciated, will not come close to the Truth and wise insights you personally discern from within your own mind and soul. Trust your instincts for believing Good will do fierce battle with the monster.

Understand the monster. Figure out as best as you can why the monster even showed up in the first place and what others in the pained community have been doing about it.  You will find wasted effort. But, you also will find very dedicated people and organizations that are making a difference for the Good. Join hands with those difference-makers and become a part of the solution instead of being sucked up onto the problem without any action plan whatsoever.

Reaction is short term. Develop a measured response to how best you will interact with the pained community to fight the monster. For some, it is money. For others, it is shining a bright light on the medical science. Yet, again, for others, it is simply being empathetic as a good listener and evocative questioner. Ask the tough questions. Confirm the real deal as to why the monster wreaks havoc much too freely.

Then, attack. With a plan that makes sense to you. Make a difference. Figure out where you fit into the massive problem afflicting the pained community, and robustly move forward while holding hands with others equally motivated as you.

During this process, do not lose sight of the actual sufferer, the young boy (usually) with Duchenne, as an example. Love the child. Laugh with the child. Keep the child’s mind alert and heart joyful. Enjoy every good moment and be prepared for the bad moments. Again, respond with your process and avoid reacting to the monster.

Does this methodical approach work? Yes, absolutely. I know that for a personal fact. Without such a process, I would not be able to write these blog articles at www.rallyforhayes.com. Rather, I would be paralyzed with fear and sorrow.  Deny the monster the satisfaction of inflicting such fear and sorrow. To the contrary, shove aside the negative baggage and robustly move forward with your own personal process intended to energize healing, even though we may be wounded at the time.

Take nothing for granted. Assume some control, at least some direction, with respect to managing your own wounded healing. At least, in that way, the monster will know it has been in a real fight and that it should not take us for granted. Cures are coming. Let our processes pave the way for those cures to cascade like a glistening waterfall, positive energy not to be denied.

Kindly,

Papa in Tennessee